Wednesday, April 11, 2012

A glimpse

All day long, I have glimpses of Ashley and Hope as our screensaver rolls cycles through our photo files.  Glimpses of different parts of the journey, bring memories, smiles and sometimes tears.  It keeps me connected to their memory in the midst of the busy demands of life.  It slows me down and reminds me of the importance of loving...right now in each moment.

It's interesting that Mira does not remind me of Ashley, or of Hope.  When she was younger, I definitely saw bits of Hope in her, but not anymore.  Mira has her own look.  She does everything that the girls did not do, and I still feel that 'Wow' feeling in response.

I had wondered if the screensaver photos would someday cause me pain, knowing that there would be no new pics of Ashley and Hope.  I wondered how I would look at those same pictures, year after year, with nothing new to add to them.  I wondered how it was even possible that I would never take another picture of Ashley and Hope.

As the months went by, I eventually noticed something.  I did not have new pictures of Ashley and Hope, but my screensaver was not becoming a stagnant pool of old memories.  The old memories were being enhanced and built upon by new photos of Brodie and Mira.  The old photos ran right along side the new photos, and suddenly I saw that Mira's growth and development would help me keep moving forward.

A picture of Ashley... a picture of Hope... a picture of Mira walking, playing with a doll and showing us so much more.  Little bits of sad remembering balanced by joyful hope in the future.  What a blessing.