Today, we watched old video of Ashley and Hope as babies, and I am soooo happy. We have so many wonderful memories. It is so good to be reminded of all the good effort we made to create memories with the girls. It is good to see the times we spent playing with Brodie while Ashley smiled and Hope coo'd. It is good to remember that it wasn't always hard and difficult and stressful. Oh yes, it is very good. Today I feel at peace with my memories of Hope and Ashley, but I still have trouble believing that they are gone and no new memories will ever be made.
As I watch the photos drift by on my new digital frame, I am realizing something. When I took pics in the past, I always aimed for a nice photograph. I tried to catch a pretty smile, or a 'look' that I wanted to remember, or maybe set the child up in a position that looked 'normal'. Now, I find myself disregarding those pics in favor of the shots that show love. When I see someone holding one of my children with a tender look, or gazing at one of them, or just attempting to hold the girls even though it was awkward, then I smile. I love seeing that the girls were loved. Isn't that what life come down too? It's simply all about loving!