Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Nothing much...

Nothing much is happening here, although I'm pretty sure all three kids have a cold.  Brodie and Mira are coughing for sure, and I thought Hope was having her normal coughing, but now I think it might be a cold.  She is coughing A LOT.  It's not that exciting though, just normal kid stuff.

Alex and I managed to get away, by ourselves, for the weekend.  Yep, that was definitely a good thing.  We're still trying to figure out how to adjust to life without Ashley, so it was nice to get away and have a break from thinking and decision making.  It's been four months now, since Ashley died, and I find grief to be a mysterious thing.  I'm still trying to figure it out.  All I know for sure, is that my normally organized, speedy, and multi-tasking brain has turned to mush and the best I can do is go with the flow. 

I do have unexpected moments when the tears come, but please don't ask me why I'm crying.  I don't feel that I should have to explain it, or that I should have to analyze it.  There are so many reasons to cry and I'm just glad when they come, so I can let go a little.  I should be allowed to cry at this point.  Everything just feels a little unstable and since I don't know what to do about that, I'll just keep close to God and let Him guide me.

1 comment:

joan said...

yes grief is a mysterious thing, we too keep remembering Ashley and are amazed how much one can love a child. God taught us a new level of love thru Ashley and Hope.
Love & Prayers, Mom& Dad